2008-07-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

THE WEST AUSTRALIAN
“authentic carnage and fearmongering”

Entree
Man charged over Geraldton shooting death (serves 6)$4.50 Premier defends mental health workers in suicide case $6

Seafood
Premier reiterates uranium mining ban (w/ oysters) $14.95
Two girls treated for burns in house fire $19.95
Some South Coast residents still without power $16

Noodles
Man in serious condition after Northbridge bashing $14
Police called to Osborne Park party $23
Police recover body from Swan River sm $6 lge $11

Vegetarian
WA fire crews heading to California $9
Man dies pinned under tractor $12
Man dies on old Mandurah Road (vegan) $44

Spicy
Rockingham pile-up closes road (hot/medium/mild) $10

Drinks
Two injured in off-road vehicle crashes $2
Driver reverses over man in hit and run (special mug) $5

Gluten-free desert
Quinns Rock fire causes $200,000 $200,000

NOT QUITE

2008-05-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

This article didn't make it into edition 17 of Good Times as we decided it was too funny and was probably dangerous to the reader.

TRANSPORT TAKES MAN HOME

It is alleged that a Currambine man used transport to get from one place to another on Saturday morning. According to the man the transport he used "did the job I wanted it do.

"You see I was in one place and I wanted to get from that particular place to another place. I was at a loss as to how I could achieve such a feat."

The option of taking transport did not occur to the man until he saw a black swan flying over head.

"You don't see that every day do ya? A black swan flying over head. I'll be damned if I see that often. But seeing it gave me an idea - why not take transport to get where I wanted to go."

The man realised what to do and then he did it. When he got home another realisation hit him like a hammer hitting another hammer and producing electricity.

"I am at home now," thought the man.

Librarians are investigating.